Settle for Me sing and play along

When we're together, I feel so grand.

My heart goes tippitytaptaptap when I hold your hand.

But I know there's another guy you fancy more;

so, even though I'm not the one you adore,

why not settle for me?

Darling, just settle for me.

I think you'll have to agree,

we make quite a pair.

I know I'm only second place

in this game,

but like two percent milk or seitan beef,

I almost taste the same.

So won't you settle for me?

Come on and settle for me.

Say yes or no before I choke on all this swallowed pride.

I have no problem being picked out from the bottom;

if he's your broken condom, I'm plan B.

So lower those expectations and settle for me.

Am I okay with this?

Totally!

Settle for me,

baby cakes;

just settle for me,

shmoopy pie.

I'm begging you, please,

can't you see the light?

Sugar jugs, I'm so bereft.

Demeaning terms are all that I have left of my masculinity,

so settle for me.

Little girl, don't make me feel like a little girl,

exposed and raw,

whose boobs can't even fill a training bra.

(Let's pretend I didn't say that.)

Settle for me.

It's a practical proposal.

Settle for me.

It makes a certain sense.

He's a fantasy,

but, hey, let's think this through:

Yes, Josh is a dream,

but I'm right here

in flesh and blood and selfhate.

Settle for me;

in a sad way, darling, it's fate!

You're like, Rocky fights a Rocky.

So much to Beyoncé.

Not asking to be your fiancé.

But if tonight, or tomorrow, if you happen to be free,

maybe, just maybe, settle for me.