Learning to Be Silent sing and play along

Swallowing my words,

staring at the floor,

counting little cracks in the tile,

struggling to smile without choking, learning to be silent.

Watching how the dust

dances out the door,

noticing my hands start to shake,

contemplating taking up smoking, learning to be silent.

Always hearing, "Hush, Ethel!"

"Please, Vi!"

"Let's not have this conversation."

And so I stand by while my mind takes a small vacation.

La la la la la la la la.

Making little sounds other folks ignore,

Quieting the beat of my heart,

never being part of the moment,

learning to be silent.

Learning there are some topics that we don't even mention,

and if they come up, then we try to be vague.

There are subjects from which we divert all attention,

and some we avoid like the plague.

I'm becoming a mime,

biting my tongue,

biding my time.

Trying not to scream;

ing not to scream;

managed it before.

aged it before.

Knowing if I'm going to survive,

then, dammit, I've got to practice.

Practice. Learning, hmm hmm hmm hmm.